Donaghadee woman, Jude Myers-Holmes, who spent a decade caring full-time for her mother living with Lewy Body Dementia has spoken about the importance of Carers taking time for their own health and wellbeing after creating a golf network to support others in a similar situation.
Jude recently lost her mother, whom she cared for at home for ten years following a diagnosis of Lewy Body Dementia with Parkinsonism. Determined to ensure her mother remained comfortable and surrounded by love, Jude devoted her life to caring for her while balancing work, family life and the emotional demands of a progressive illness.
Now, Jude is using her experience to encourage other unpaid Carers to access support and make time for themselves through sport and social connection.
Reflecting on her caring journey, Jude said, “My mum’s condition changed her completely. Caring for her became a full-time role that involved every aspect of her daily life. I was helping with feeding, personal care and making sure she was comfortable and safe in her own home.
“It could take hours to provide nutrition and medication. My husband and I shared the responsibilities and we had support from Carers coming into the house, but caring for Mum was our life. We wanted her to remain in the home she loved, surrounded by family.”
Jude’s caring role intensified when her father, who had cancer, became seriously ill. Jude explained, “I had been living and working in Edinburgh and travelling back and forward to support both my parents. When my dad’s health deteriorated, I got the first flight home.
“My mum had been admitted to a care facility as an emergency placement, but I knew she would not understand what was happening. I brought her home and quickly realised she needed full-time care. I stayed in Northern Ireland and my husband followed a few months later when we made the decision to relocate permanently.
“It changed everything about our lives, but there was never any doubt that it was the right thing to do.”
Like many Carers, Jude found that her own health and wellbeing often came second, “Initially, it was very difficult. I had always enjoyed sport and exercise, but I could not find anything that fitted around my caring responsibilities.
“Then I saw an advert for beginner golf lessons at Donaghadee Golf Club. I decided to give it a try and it completely changed things for me. What started as a six-week introduction to golf soon became a vital outlet. Golf gave me something that worked around caring. I could go out early in the morning, late in the evening or just for a short time when an opportunity arose.
“It got me out into the fresh air, gave me exercise, helped me clear my head and provided a sense of friendship and community. When you are caring for someone you love, you can become isolated. Golf gave me time to recharge and look after my own mental wellbeing.”
Jude became involved in Golf Ireland’s #GolfLikeMe programme, which aims to make golf more inclusive and accessible. As an advocate for Carers, she helped establish opportunities for unpaid Carers to connect through golf and encouraged clubs to consider ways of supporting people with caring responsibilities.
Jude added, “Carers spend so much time looking after others that they often forget about themselves. Even if it’s just 20 minutes on a driving range, getting outdoors, being active and meeting other people can make such a difference. You have to take time for yourself, time for your health, time for your fitness and time for your mental wellbeing.”
Jude also praised the South Eastern Trust Carers Support Service for helping to create opportunities for Carers to come together, “The Carers Support Team have been brilliant. Together we organised a golf day at Donaghadee Golf Club where Carers came along, got their golf clubs back out and enjoyed a relaxed competition.
“It was not about scores or competition. It was about having fun, meeting other Carers and spending time together. We had lunch afterwards and everyone really enjoyed the social side of the day.
“The Trust Team facilitated everything and made it possible. It was a wonderful day.”
South Eastern Trust, Social Work Assistant, Sarah Devlin from the Carers Support Service said unpaid Carers play an essential role in supporting some of the most vulnerable people in society, “Carers provide invaluable support every day, often around the clock and the physical and emotional demands can be significant.
“Our role is to provide advice, information, signposting and emotional support to help Carers in their caring role. We connect Carers with specialist services, support groups, information sessions and opportunities to meet other people who understand their experiences.
“We want Carers to know that they are not alone and that support is available.”
Sarah continued, “Many Carers make enormous changes to their own lives to support a loved one. We recognise the dedication and commitment they show every day and we are committed to helping them access the support they need for their own wellbeing.”
Jude stated, “Caring for my mum was one of the most important things I have ever done and I would do it all again in a heartbeat.
“But Carers need support too. Looking after your own wellbeing is not selfish, it is essential. Sometimes something as simple as getting outdoors, meeting people and hitting a golf ball can make all the difference.”
The South Eastern Trust Carers Support Service is available to unpaid Carers across the South Eastern Trust area. The service accepts self-referrals and can also receive referrals from healthcare professionals and community organisations.
For further information contact the South Eastern Trust Carer Support Service, telephone (028) 4372 1807 or email carer.support@setrust.hscni.net
Information on Golf Ireland and local Golf Clubs can be found by visiting www.golfireland.ie